Fuck Off

Roses are red, violets are blue, dragons are cool, feminism is too

1,215 notes

teaboot:

teaboot:

I was interested in purchasing a German pillow and this was the first result

Google result for a search for German Pillow: top result is an article by Ryan Murdock at https://Ryan Murdock.com posted on 2021/01: German pillows are a crime against sleep.ALT

So I checked it out, and

How big is your head? I’m not suggesting you know its exact circumference in centimetres, but you do have an idea of how much space it takes up, right? I don’t think this is the case for German people. How else would you explain their pillows? The sleep-deprived foreigner has two choice of pillow here in Germany, and each is terrible in its own way. The most common type is the pointlessly huge square pillow: 80cmx80cm and pathetically thin. I hate them. I’ve devoted a considerable amount of time to thinking about those giant square pillows but I confess I’m completely unable to imagine how you’re supposed to sleep on it.ALT

Hey, Ryan? Ryan.

Can you not fold it, my guy??

Believe it or not, the beds are even worse. Here’s a word of warning for you if you’re traveling to Germany: you will not end up with the bed you thought you reserved. What at first glance appears to be a big bed for two people will in fact be two single beds shoved together. You won’t be sharing a blanket, either. Instead, you’ll find two single duvets folded on top of it, one for each person. I suspect this is a holdover from Puritan times when sex was for procreation rather than recreation, and even then, enjoying it remained a borderline sin. An image is posted of a queen sized bed with two blankets folded on it, subtitled "celibacy for rent- random photo from Air BnB"ALT

?? This is the ideal fucking sleep situation for traveling, though?? You think I wanna be on a trip with my goddamn mother brother and cousin and I wanna bump asses and huddle under the same single drafty blanket like Charlie C. Factory’s goddamn grandparents?? You think I wanna share a hot Dutch oven with my farty uncle?? What the fuck is your issue, Ryan??? You think Germans just don’t know what fucking is??? You think there were unmarried opposite-sex puritans sharing an Air BnB in goddamn 1700s Germany, Ryan??? WHY ARE YOU CREDITING THE PHOTOS ON YOUR WEBSITE LIKE A TWELVE YEAR OLD ON PINTEREST, RYAN

4,564 notes

bearotonin-international:

mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware:

FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK FAT BEAR WEEK

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FAT BEAR WEEK!!!!

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(via every-dayiwakeup)

14,496 notes

dreg-heap:

sparkletindi:

dreg-heap:

Me reading you peoples’ posts:

You have a gas leak

You have a gas leak

You’re an anglican

You’re on drugs

Anglican

Anglican

Gas leak

This one’s good

Gas leak

Gas leak

Anglican

Lutheran

Drugs

Gas leak

This one is good

Drugs

Drugs

Anglican

Post only I can see

Gas leak

I don’t have a gas leak I have a disordered sleep schedule and a child in elementary school. The two are easy to mix up!

Anglican.

(via spookygayferret)

4,945 notes

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

supervisor at work desperately wants me to try her herbal mushroom coffee and I looked at the insert and it has cordyceps in it ‘for stamina’ and don’t get me wrong I’m sure it’s a normal edible non-parasitic variety but there IS a little part of me that’s like. oh so that’s what they’re calling it now

me when I drink it

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(via rated-a-for-awesome)